Dear You ,

This will be my last letter to the hopes of us being together. It occurred to me that you are not coming back, and I should move on with my life.  In the past I have come to think that you will never love anyone truly the way I loved you, but that would be unfair. Because everyone is entitled to love someone, maybe yours is not just for me. Who knows the next person you meet will be the one you’ll love without any shadow of doubt, walk with to the altar with and live that story everyone desires, a happy ever after.

I learned that it is harder to let go of someone I never had than someone who offered his life for me.  Maybe because I will always wonder what if it worked out between us or maybe because of my beaten up pride and the fact that someone turned me down.  But I’ve come to think of things lately, life doesn’t end there. I am bigger than that.  Love and frustrations are not the only ingredients in life. My life has not ended because someone broke my heart.  No one will be there to pick me up so I need to do it alone. And I did. It was not that easy though.

During those times between you and now, I did a lot of things, meet a lot of people who will flirt with everyone else, who doesn’t even know what he is looking for and never seem satisfied, but he did just fine. You know what now that I’m thinking of it, he seems to reflect you.  He did have a cute smile like yours. His voice has the same rhythm and cadence as yours; I’ve come to memorize even his face expressions just like yours.  I almost loved him with every fiber I had, hoped to wake up one day beside him. Exactly the same expectations I had for you. I saw you in him. I let that obsession and frustration consume me. And we both learned something, he is moving on the same way I am, and it will just hurt us more. It really hurts to love someone who doesn’t love us back. And that is where we stopped being “in love”.  I found my breaking point to realize that enough is enough, because what I saw in him is just a memory of that person who I loved before, you.

But you know what, I will never regret the memories, lessons and ache you have caused me.  I am much stronger now, and certain of myself. The things I had felt for you is just temporary, it may have lasted for more than a year but nothing permanent.  I found a reason to move on, happiness. Life doesn’t end upon the realization that you don’t love me, ‘cause you not loving me doesn’t mean I’m not loved by everyone else. Thanks for making me realize that love and happiness are not easily gained. That love comes from within first before anyone else, and I’m glad I learned that by myself.

Getting over you, is like a blindfold removed, I see things clearer now all the love and appreciation I did have the whole time which I am thankful  for. I did heal my heart from the memory you gave me and I will never be afraid to love again, and again and again until the right one comes. I know someday God will reward me with someone who will love me back with every ounce of my affection for him, that supreme feeling of ecstasy I can fathom. And I also hope that someday you will. 

We were never boyfriend and girlfriend; at least I know we never referred to each other as such. But I know we did share a strong bond. Well, it has been a long journey and I have become the better for it. I will always smile because you happened in my life.

So to you that my heart loved and loved to love, I wish you all happiness in the world. May she, whoever she will be, treat you well.  Someday I will be able to look at you in the eye, maybe even give you a peck on the cheek and smile.  May life always treat you kindly and fairly and may love never escape you. I wish you all the happiness and that you will never cry unless its tears of joy and not from a broken heart. And as I end this letter, I also put a stop to what you and I were. Till we meet again.

This is just me.

- just some fancy letter written 3 years ago recently found. :)