I HATE MYSELF

I hate myself today. I received a piece of heartbreaking news where my name is not included. Again, I am not included?

What did I do wrong? How did I fuck that up? Why did they not accept or include me? Was I too confident that I was humbled? Am I being punished? For what?
FUCK!

What now?

Recently I've been reading a book about "not giving a fuck".  The book says that we should choose what or who we give a fuck too.

My dream is to become a lawyer. I applied for Law School and did pass the exam but was not included in the interview. If I cannot pass this simple entrance exam to a law school, how can I even reach that dream? Now tell me, should I give a fuck or not?

I did my best. I believe I did my best but was I too arrogant? I hate myself for not passing. For being a failure. I HATE MYSELF. I am ANGRY about everything. But I try to comfort myself. Coz no one will.